Well, it's Monday, and I'm here as I planned.
Now - what to say??
Actually, it's easy to know what to say. I am feeling so much happier and more connected for having made a point of putting aside a little time each day for silence. I've never been one for surrounding myself with extraneous noise anyway, but a little intentional silence, where I try to connect with God, has been a positive and happy part of each day so far.
In the past when I have had quiet times (I'm not keen on calling them that - it's too close to Quiet Time, which has too many bad associations for me from my times with charismatic groups), I've used a Bible verse or a section of Advices and Queries to concentrate on while I settle in to it. At present I have gone back to reading my Twelve Quakers and... booklets, which I was given when I became a Member. They are ideal for this, as each section is fairly short, and is always thought-provoking. (If you follow the link - there are two on the following page as well.)
What do you do to settle into silence?
Monday, 12 January 2009
Monday, 5 January 2009
First Post of 2009
I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I don't see the point in setting myself up to fail by giving myself a list of things that I know I will not keep up, even until the end of the first month. But every January I do take the opportunity to look at what I'm doing and decide if it's what I want to do.
What I want to do this year - and I have no idea of whether this will work, because there are so many variables - is to go back to something I tried on my knitting blog, and which worked well until I got very sick with food poisoning. This was to write a little each week, regardless of how little, just to keep my writing muscles flexible. I do tend, especially on this blog, to wait until I am struck by a good idea - and so weeks can go by without my writing a thing! It's a strange thing about inspiration - the more I write, the more inspiration I find...
I also want to try to write only in the blog, and not in my head. I'm a terror for getting an idea, and then planning the whole thing out mentally, coining phrases and marshalling my ideas, until I spend so much time on it that I am bored with the whole idea and never actually write it down. There are numerous wonderful blog entries in my head which never made it to the screen. I've also just taken over as the Newsletter Editor at my Meeting (Durham, part of BYM), so I'm intending to bring this habit to bear on my newsletter writing, too!
Finally, I want to be more organised about my times of silence. No pump produces water without being primed, and my writing pump is fed directly by my spiritual priming. It's sheer laziness that makes me turn on the TV or radio instead of spending some time every day in silence, and I must break the habit.
So, I'm going to try for a little every Monday. Don't expect great wisdom every week - but I will at least try to show up :)
Happy New Year, everyone.
What I want to do this year - and I have no idea of whether this will work, because there are so many variables - is to go back to something I tried on my knitting blog, and which worked well until I got very sick with food poisoning. This was to write a little each week, regardless of how little, just to keep my writing muscles flexible. I do tend, especially on this blog, to wait until I am struck by a good idea - and so weeks can go by without my writing a thing! It's a strange thing about inspiration - the more I write, the more inspiration I find...
I also want to try to write only in the blog, and not in my head. I'm a terror for getting an idea, and then planning the whole thing out mentally, coining phrases and marshalling my ideas, until I spend so much time on it that I am bored with the whole idea and never actually write it down. There are numerous wonderful blog entries in my head which never made it to the screen. I've also just taken over as the Newsletter Editor at my Meeting (Durham, part of BYM), so I'm intending to bring this habit to bear on my newsletter writing, too!
Finally, I want to be more organised about my times of silence. No pump produces water without being primed, and my writing pump is fed directly by my spiritual priming. It's sheer laziness that makes me turn on the TV or radio instead of spending some time every day in silence, and I must break the habit.
So, I'm going to try for a little every Monday. Don't expect great wisdom every week - but I will at least try to show up :)
Happy New Year, everyone.
Thursday, 27 November 2008
Gratitude
Although we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in Britain, I like the idea of sitting down and thinking about what we're thankful for. So:
I am thankful for the NHS and all my medication; plumbing and sanitation; a comfy bed and a warm duvet; and a secure roof over my head.
I'm thankful that, when my beloved cat Tigger died earlier this month, it was quick and relatively painless, and that we were there with him. (This is why I haven't blogged for a while.) I'm also thankful that our remaining cat, Chloe, has not been too griefstricken.
I'm thankful for my wonderful son who, while not being perfect, and driving me to distraction on occasion, is pretty amazing most of the time.
I'm thankful for my close and loving family, even though my sister and I cannot live together for longer than three days without arguing, and talking to my mother gives me a sore throat because she won't wear her hearing aid.
I'm thankful that I still have the ability to use my hands to create lovely, useful, colourful things with a ball of yarn and a couple of needles (or a crochet hook).
I'm thankful that my Meeting doesn't forget me, although I can no longer attend; and I'm especially grateful that we are holding a small Meeting for Worship in my living room this month.
I am thankful for organic high-cocoa chocolate; brown rice and ratatouille; pasta; a good cup of tea; porridge with honey and cinnamon; pomegranates, peaches, plums, crisp Braeburn apples, and just-ripe bananas.
I am thankful for the works of Jessamyn West, Jane Austen, Doreen Tovey, Deric Longden, Dorothy L Sayers, Betty MacDonald, Liz Jensen, Patrick Gale, E J Oxenham, Roger McGough, Alexander McCall Smith, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, Elizabeth Zimmermann, Adrian Plass, Mary Thomas.... and for every book which has given me pleasure and food for thought.
I am thankful for blue skies, starry nights, fresh snow, and the two oak trees outside our home as they show us the changing of the seasons.
I am thankful for the Internet, and all the people I have encountered through it. It gives me a social life I would otherwise never have been able to have.
I am thankful that I listened and obeyed, and found myself in a Meeting for the first time; like so many others, I felt I had come home.
Happy Thanksgiving, to those who celebrate it; and to those of us who do not - happy Thursday!
I am thankful for the NHS and all my medication; plumbing and sanitation; a comfy bed and a warm duvet; and a secure roof over my head.
I'm thankful that, when my beloved cat Tigger died earlier this month, it was quick and relatively painless, and that we were there with him. (This is why I haven't blogged for a while.) I'm also thankful that our remaining cat, Chloe, has not been too griefstricken.
I'm thankful for my wonderful son who, while not being perfect, and driving me to distraction on occasion, is pretty amazing most of the time.
I'm thankful for my close and loving family, even though my sister and I cannot live together for longer than three days without arguing, and talking to my mother gives me a sore throat because she won't wear her hearing aid.
I'm thankful that I still have the ability to use my hands to create lovely, useful, colourful things with a ball of yarn and a couple of needles (or a crochet hook).
I'm thankful that my Meeting doesn't forget me, although I can no longer attend; and I'm especially grateful that we are holding a small Meeting for Worship in my living room this month.
I am thankful for organic high-cocoa chocolate; brown rice and ratatouille; pasta; a good cup of tea; porridge with honey and cinnamon; pomegranates, peaches, plums, crisp Braeburn apples, and just-ripe bananas.
I am thankful for the works of Jessamyn West, Jane Austen, Doreen Tovey, Deric Longden, Dorothy L Sayers, Betty MacDonald, Liz Jensen, Patrick Gale, E J Oxenham, Roger McGough, Alexander McCall Smith, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, Elizabeth Zimmermann, Adrian Plass, Mary Thomas.... and for every book which has given me pleasure and food for thought.
I am thankful for blue skies, starry nights, fresh snow, and the two oak trees outside our home as they show us the changing of the seasons.
I am thankful for the Internet, and all the people I have encountered through it. It gives me a social life I would otherwise never have been able to have.
I am thankful that I listened and obeyed, and found myself in a Meeting for the first time; like so many others, I felt I had come home.
Happy Thanksgiving, to those who celebrate it; and to those of us who do not - happy Thursday!
Saturday, 11 October 2008
That of God
The accidental death was announced today of a right-wing Austrian politician. My immediate reaction to news of this type is relief - another one gone. That lasts for a micro-second before I remember that I am supposed to see that of God in everyone.
It is very easy to demonise the far right, and to think of them as monsters - especially that famous Austrian/German of the 1930s and 40s, whose name I still feel uneasy about writing here in case I get swamped by messages from people who believe he was right. It is so much easier to think of them as inhuman than to accept that they were ordinary people like us.
If we put tyrants and architects of genocide into a special category, we risk seeing them as two-dimensional figures, simple ciphers of evil. This is a very dangerous thing to do, as we then ignore the truth that anyone has the possibility of evil within them - they don't have to conform to some special stereotype, with blazing eyes, or funny moustaches. By turning these figures into the bogeyman, we may run the risk of not understanding how they, as ordinary human beings, achieved power and began to put their ideas into practice.
It is an unpalatable truth that we all have prejudices, and that these can be played upon. None of these people achieved power without the support of other people, whether it was their own cadre of cronies, or a majority national vote. None of them operated alone.
So, having accepted that they were as human as the rest of us, how do we see that of God in them?
I'm still working on that one. Let me know if you have any flashes of inspiration....
In the mean time, for anyone who thinks him- or herself free of prejudice, I offer one of my older poems (yes, I write poems too - not as many as I used to, and not as many as I would like). It's a performance piece - in other words, not all the views are mine! - and is called:
It is very easy to demonise the far right, and to think of them as monsters - especially that famous Austrian/German of the 1930s and 40s, whose name I still feel uneasy about writing here in case I get swamped by messages from people who believe he was right. It is so much easier to think of them as inhuman than to accept that they were ordinary people like us.
If we put tyrants and architects of genocide into a special category, we risk seeing them as two-dimensional figures, simple ciphers of evil. This is a very dangerous thing to do, as we then ignore the truth that anyone has the possibility of evil within them - they don't have to conform to some special stereotype, with blazing eyes, or funny moustaches. By turning these figures into the bogeyman, we may run the risk of not understanding how they, as ordinary human beings, achieved power and began to put their ideas into practice.
It is an unpalatable truth that we all have prejudices, and that these can be played upon. None of these people achieved power without the support of other people, whether it was their own cadre of cronies, or a majority national vote. None of them operated alone.
So, having accepted that they were as human as the rest of us, how do we see that of God in them?
I'm still working on that one. Let me know if you have any flashes of inspiration....
In the mean time, for anyone who thinks him- or herself free of prejudice, I offer one of my older poems (yes, I write poems too - not as many as I used to, and not as many as I would like). It's a performance piece - in other words, not all the views are mine! - and is called:
Racist
no one could call me racist
but I really don't like Americans
they're everywhere you go
with foghorn shirts and corny voices
though I like my friend Linda from Boulder
and Anne from Antioch U
so no one could call me racist
I don't like the Welsh much either
burning cottages, whingeing at tourists
and let's face it: we're their bread and butter
I like Penn, but he's living in England
so perhaps he doesn't count
no, no one could call me racist
I'm also not keen on the French
I don't know any French people
but I don't like the ones that I've met
in shops on holiday: the cheek,
they pretend not to understand me
and I got an A for French
but no one could call me racist
I get on well with everyone
except the Americans
the Welsh
the French
people who call me honey
people who are cruel to children
people who let their children run riot
people who tell mother-in-law jokes
people like my mother-in-law
people with ginger hair
people who are not like me
me racist?
never
no one could call me racist
but I really don't like Americans
they're everywhere you go
with foghorn shirts and corny voices
though I like my friend Linda from Boulder
and Anne from Antioch U
so no one could call me racist
I don't like the Welsh much either
burning cottages, whingeing at tourists
and let's face it: we're their bread and butter
I like Penn, but he's living in England
so perhaps he doesn't count
no, no one could call me racist
I'm also not keen on the French
I don't know any French people
but I don't like the ones that I've met
in shops on holiday: the cheek,
they pretend not to understand me
and I got an A for French
but no one could call me racist
I get on well with everyone
except the Americans
the Welsh
the French
people who call me honey
people who are cruel to children
people who let their children run riot
people who tell mother-in-law jokes
people like my mother-in-law
people with ginger hair
people who are not like me
me racist?
never
(Copyright Heather Cawte 1987)
Saturday, 13 September 2008
12 Quakers and....
No, it's not the start of a joke :) As I mentioned in an earlier post: when I was accepted as a member, and because I already had a copy of Quaker Faith and Practice, I was offered a set of Quaker Quest booklets called "12 Quakers and...".
These were written to be used not only in Quaker Quest, but also by attenders and new members. They are written very simply, by members of the Quaker Quest team in London, and each booklet has a different topic: God, Jesus, Worship, Equality, Pacifism, Simplicity and Evil.
(On a somewhat trivial note - my set has a lovely purple box cover, made by a local bookbinder, and, as each pamphlet is a different colour of the rainbow, they look extremely inviting!)
As the title suggests, there are 12 sections in each booklet, covering a wide spectrum of views. These are not simplistic, bland 'This is what Quakers believe...' booklets, but come from the deeply-held beliefs of individual members. They are all written anonymously.
I am thoroughly enjoying them. They are a perfect example of the aspect of Quaker literature that I appreciate most: that, rather than just offering abstruse theology, or prescriptions of how to think, we value and disseminate individual members' honest thoughts and beliefs. These in turn find readers who can relate to them.
Each section is quite short - anything from one paragraph to three or four pages - and so I can read and think about a new one every day. I also re-read the one I read the previous day, just to help fix it in my mind. Several passages have gone into my Commonplace Book already, not just entire paragraphs, but also simple sentences, like this from section 2 of '12 Quakers and Equality':
If you would like to purchase any for yourself, or for your Meeting Library, they are all available at the Friends' Bookshop (scroll down, and go onto the next page also) in Friends' House, London. I can really recommend them, and I am very grateful to Judith, the Elder who suggested them to me.
These were written to be used not only in Quaker Quest, but also by attenders and new members. They are written very simply, by members of the Quaker Quest team in London, and each booklet has a different topic: God, Jesus, Worship, Equality, Pacifism, Simplicity and Evil.
(On a somewhat trivial note - my set has a lovely purple box cover, made by a local bookbinder, and, as each pamphlet is a different colour of the rainbow, they look extremely inviting!)
As the title suggests, there are 12 sections in each booklet, covering a wide spectrum of views. These are not simplistic, bland 'This is what Quakers believe...' booklets, but come from the deeply-held beliefs of individual members. They are all written anonymously.
I am thoroughly enjoying them. They are a perfect example of the aspect of Quaker literature that I appreciate most: that, rather than just offering abstruse theology, or prescriptions of how to think, we value and disseminate individual members' honest thoughts and beliefs. These in turn find readers who can relate to them.
Each section is quite short - anything from one paragraph to three or four pages - and so I can read and think about a new one every day. I also re-read the one I read the previous day, just to help fix it in my mind. Several passages have gone into my Commonplace Book already, not just entire paragraphs, but also simple sentences, like this from section 2 of '12 Quakers and Equality':
Equality does not mean I am not special. It means we all are.
If you would like to purchase any for yourself, or for your Meeting Library, they are all available at the Friends' Bookshop (scroll down, and go onto the next page also) in Friends' House, London. I can really recommend them, and I am very grateful to Judith, the Elder who suggested them to me.
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Serendipity
Elizabeth Sherrill, in All The Way To Heaven, writes:
I first read Ruth Barton's Invitation to Solitude and Silence when I was just beginning to investigate the idea of silent worship, well before I considered becoming a Quaker. It struck me then as an eminently down-to-earth, practical and sensible book that didn't assume (unlike some I have read) that you are Super-Christian. I gave up on that one a long time ago - and anyway, the cape would get tangled in my wheels :)
I lent it to a dear friend who was moving along a similar path to me, and she loved it too. She tried to find a copy for herself and failed, so when she gave it back to me, she suggested I keep it safe. A few months later I moved to my hew house, and purged my bookshelves - but I was sure I did not get rid of it.
That being said, I couldn't actually see it there either. The waist-height bookcases are behind the sofa, with about 18 inches of space between them and it, and it's pretty difficult for me to get all the way along them. I'd concluded it must be on a bottom shelf, out of my sight.
On a whim I asked Jacky, my regular carer, to look for it today. I described it to her - thin paperback, pale spine, called something about silence and solitude - and she started looking. 'Is it about this size?' she said, pulling a book out.
'Exactly that size,' I said. 'That's the book.'
It was on a top shelf, and yet I had never spotted it. We both just burst out laughing at the coincidence, and I heard Elizabeth Sherrill's words in my head again :)
I am no longer so arrogant as to believe that God micromanages my life. Why would She find a book I needed, but not give water and food to the inhabitants of Darfur? But, like Elizabeth Sherrill, I always enjoy hearing the rhyming.
Moments...when the small routines of living seem to flow without effort - when I experience what our friend David Manuel calls a 'graced day'. The news item I wanted to hear is on the radio as I tune in. The person I've been trying to contact phones me. A car pulls out of the parking place as I drive up. It's a day when the timing of many schedules seems to mesh like notes in a symphony. When in the humblest event I 'catch the universe in the act of rhyming'.I have had two examples of serendipity lately that have made me laugh aloud. One involved tracking down a Bible verse, to find, when I eventually got to a Bible look-up site, that it was the example given for ways to look things up; and the other was the coming to light of a book I've been looking for.
I first read Ruth Barton's Invitation to Solitude and Silence when I was just beginning to investigate the idea of silent worship, well before I considered becoming a Quaker. It struck me then as an eminently down-to-earth, practical and sensible book that didn't assume (unlike some I have read) that you are Super-Christian. I gave up on that one a long time ago - and anyway, the cape would get tangled in my wheels :)
I lent it to a dear friend who was moving along a similar path to me, and she loved it too. She tried to find a copy for herself and failed, so when she gave it back to me, she suggested I keep it safe. A few months later I moved to my hew house, and purged my bookshelves - but I was sure I did not get rid of it.
That being said, I couldn't actually see it there either. The waist-height bookcases are behind the sofa, with about 18 inches of space between them and it, and it's pretty difficult for me to get all the way along them. I'd concluded it must be on a bottom shelf, out of my sight.
On a whim I asked Jacky, my regular carer, to look for it today. I described it to her - thin paperback, pale spine, called something about silence and solitude - and she started looking. 'Is it about this size?' she said, pulling a book out.
'Exactly that size,' I said. 'That's the book.'
It was on a top shelf, and yet I had never spotted it. We both just burst out laughing at the coincidence, and I heard Elizabeth Sherrill's words in my head again :)
I am no longer so arrogant as to believe that God micromanages my life. Why would She find a book I needed, but not give water and food to the inhabitants of Darfur? But, like Elizabeth Sherrill, I always enjoy hearing the rhyming.
Sunday, 17 August 2008
The meme of fives
Thanks to Gil S, who revealed her answers to this in her blog, because I was nosy and asked her to! (Do go and read her blog. It's excellent.)
Fair's fair - here are my answers:
What was I doing 5 years ago?
Changing my surname back to the one I started with, having just endured a messy divorce and wanting to draw a firm line under it.
What 5 things are on my to-do list?
Catch up on my emails, finish the stocking fillers I'm knitting for Christmas, read some more of the Jessamyn West book I'm enjoying, see the diabetes nurse for the first time, phone my sister.
What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
Grapes, olives, cashew nuts, crisp apples, peanut butter on wholegrain toast.
What 5 things would you do as a billionaire?
Clean water, for free, for the whole world; fund ME research; free healthcare for all; solve the RSoF's financial problems at a stroke; travel, by wheelchair-friendly ship, with a carer and my son.
What are 5 jobs you've had?
Organ tuner's assistant; working in a bookshop; knitwear designer; published poet; freelance copy editor.
If you are reading this, you have a blog, and you haven't done this one already - consider yourself tagged!
Fair's fair - here are my answers:
What was I doing 5 years ago?
Changing my surname back to the one I started with, having just endured a messy divorce and wanting to draw a firm line under it.
What 5 things are on my to-do list?
Catch up on my emails, finish the stocking fillers I'm knitting for Christmas, read some more of the Jessamyn West book I'm enjoying, see the diabetes nurse for the first time, phone my sister.
What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
Grapes, olives, cashew nuts, crisp apples, peanut butter on wholegrain toast.
What 5 things would you do as a billionaire?
Clean water, for free, for the whole world; fund ME research; free healthcare for all; solve the RSoF's financial problems at a stroke; travel, by wheelchair-friendly ship, with a carer and my son.
What are 5 jobs you've had?
Organ tuner's assistant; working in a bookshop; knitwear designer; published poet; freelance copy editor.
If you are reading this, you have a blog, and you haven't done this one already - consider yourself tagged!
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